The Insect Memoirs Pt. I, II & III

As promised, here are Pt. II & III of "The Insect Memoirs." I reposted part I again so this all makes sense. Here we go....

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It's official. After a long hiatus, The Insects are FINALLY getting back together to play a show... Here's the "official" announcement from the band:

Oct. 31, @ Fresno State. We'll be playing in the pit. Not sure of the whole lineup yet, but so far I know Pinkeye and Needy Eevy are also on the bill. 7:00 p.m. Admission is free..............with costume.

That announcement came today. Anyway, the last time I saw The Insects was in Armona, Calif., at Travis' house last February. At least, I think that was the last time I saw them. Travis is the band's drummer. After that night, I felt compelled to right something about the band. I've liked them for a long time. They're different than most Fresno bands.

I'm posting this in honor of the group's reunion. This "Insect Memoirs" was written over the course of a week. It's in three parts. Unfortunately, I never finished it. But I'll post it anyway. If it doesn't make sense, I'm sorry. I'm not that sorry, actually.

OK, here we go:

February 21, 2005 (that’s a Monday, in case you give a shit, which I’m sure you don’t...)

The Insects: Travis’ Birthday Party. He turned 24! Happy birthday, dude.

A recollection of sorts.

Pt. I

I’ve finally decided: I’m going to listen to Elliott Smith (I’m sitting in a Starbucks and I need something to listen to while I write this masterpiece). You want to know something funny? Any time I type out the word "Smith" I always end up typing "Smitch" by accident. And do you know why this is? Because my name is Mitch. It’s a natural default. But now that I think about it, listening to Elliott Smitch – see, I did it again – might not be the best music to listen to while trying to write a recollection about an Insects performance I saw a couple nights ago. I mean Either/Or isn’t exactly the most uplifting music out there. It doesn’t matter, though; I’m going to listen to his badass anyway – even if he does depress the hell out of me (in a good way).

Now that we have that bit of information out of the way let’s get on with the happenings of Saturday, February 19th: Travis "Wasp" Soward’s – drummer for the Insects – birthday party featuring the motherfuggin’ Insects! Yeah, they’re the best (and probably weirdest) band in Armona, Calif. Hell, they maybe even be the best band in Lemoore. I’d venture to say they could even be the best band in Fresno. Watch out No Cello! You may have the hipsters on your side, but you ain’t got the freaks!

So Fresno’s littlest Insect is growing up. Travis turned 24 on February 14th aka Valentine’s Day. To celebrate, he threw a party at his house in Armona (about 35 minutes south of Fresno). Now, this was the third time I had been to Travis’ house, and trust me, the drive doesn’t get any more exciting. You basically have a couple of cemeteries to gaze at while driving through the snaky country roads. There is one positive aspect, however – you get to drive through Laton. That was a joke. No offense Laton, it’s all good.

After buying a small bottle of Crown Royal (Travis’ b-day gift) at one of the town’s charming little mini marts (this one dude was bitching about a phone card he was trying do buy... I don’t know, don’t ask me), I headed to his cozy homestead and found myself amid a crowd of unfamiliar South Valley faces. It was pretty refreshing, actually – definitely an Insects crowd. Once I saw the 3-foot tall doll of the Jolly Green Giant sitting in the corner of the room, I knew the night would be a memorable one. (Side note: The self-titled Yeah Yeah Yeahs EP is fucking amazing. You know you can’t deny it).

Pt. II

OK, it’s been a few days since I sat down to write this. Yes, I’m extremely lame. Now I’m sitting in the ‘new edition’ back room of the Revue in Fresno’s Tower District (for all the uncool people who don’t know where it is). Anyway, I decided to throw on some Sonic Youth – Dirty, to be exact. Don’t think I’m super cool just yet; it’s actually one of the first Sonic Youth CDs I’ve ever listened to. And I’m 23. How pathetic is that? I just got it through Amazon.com’s used section, you should check it out. At least I’m honest about never having listened to them, right? The only reason I’ve ever been curious about them is because I’m a HUGE Nirvana fan (or at least I was age 14-17). And Kurt used to always rant and rave about Sonic Youth. Naturally, it got me curious. But enough about fuckin’ Sonic Youth already, this is about the Insects. Actually, I should be transcribing an interview I recently did with Detroit electro duo ADULT. – look out for it in Rockrgrl magazine next month!!! Ha, that was dumb – but that can wait. This shit is more important. Sorry for the profanity.

So where was I? Damn, that party was almost a week ago. This is why you should write the story the night you come home, or at least take some friggin’ notes. But after a 30-minute drive coming home from Armona at 4 a.m., you’re a little exhausted. You feel me? Anyway, my friend Terrance (probably the biggest Insects fan I know) just e-mailed me this photo he took of Guido (Mantis) – the crazy guy at all the Insects shows you hear yelling "More, Moooooorrrrrreeeee, More." You know the one. He’s tall, big, wears a big black leather hat, and can sometimes be caught prancing around in a really crazy looking wolf costume while the Insects rock out. He’s also one of the nicest guys you could know too. At a Tokyo Garden (small venue/sushi joint in Fresno) show, he bought me one of those big ass Sapporo. That’s sounding a lot better than this coffee I’m drinking right now. I’ll use a quote that I got from Travis that Guido pretty well.

"He’s a power too great to harness. He has this crazy, unpredictable, obnoxious energy that creates the force and the spirit of the band."

Couldn’t have said it any better myself. Good job, Wasp.

Anyway, the photo Terrance – aka T-Bone, tRance, or whatever – took displays a silver-masked Guido singing a song. As I recall, Guido came out while the Insects were playing a song, set up a black light in the living room of Travis’ house, and started dancing around with this glimmering wrestling mask. With that, he was wearing this weird white jumpsuit that looks like those things guys wear while they’re spraying deadly chemicals on plants. The black light brought out some interesting looking stains that would have otherwise gone unnoticed. The site of Guido dancing was both disturbing and hilarious. But that’s what adds to the greatness of every Insects show.

An outside chat with Mark Stacey (Weevil aka brainchild/singer/guitarist of the Insects) revealed that Guido was in fact the backbone of the whole band. I don’t want to quote Mark because I can’t remember exactly what he said, so I’ll try and paraphrase (that’s what we call it in the journalism field...). Basically, the band doesn’t make any move unless Guido OKs it first. The funny thing is, Guido isn’t even in the band. He may sing a few raunchy-sounding rock ‘n’ roll blues songs at the end of every show, but he is by no means a musician; just a really good friend of the band. But I found Mark’s words interesting. They just added to the whole weirdness of the band as a whole. I mean why would Guido, a guy who doesn’t really say much, dresses up in crazy costumes, and always has a wicked smile on his face, be calling all the shots in the band? But like I said, that just adds to the weirdness and greatness of this enigmatic band. And before I forget, Mark wears these really cool black-framed glasses that look like those kind Buddy Holly wore. Hopefully Mark doesn’t have the same misfortune. Damn, I shouldn’t have said that...

Let me say one more thing about Mark: Being the total Nirvana freak that I am, or once was I should say, Mark totally reminds me of Kurdt (I meant to spell it like that. Those who know a thing or two about the best grunge band to come out of Aberdeen, Wash., will know what I’m talking about). One specific thing that is similar between Mark and Kurt is that they’re (or were, in Kurt’s case... damn Courtney) both great songwriters. And for all you Nirvana skeptics out there, just stop OK. They were a fucking good band, period. Don’t make me say it again, please. Another similarity between the two is that they both are (or were in Kurt’s case) left-handed guitar players. I used to be a left guitarist but was forced to switch early on. If you want, you can ask me about that story later. Very traumatic, but I’m glad I did it. In any event, they both kinda look the same too. Skinny, blonde, coy, weird, etcetera, etcetera. I didn’t know Kurt personally, but we frequently exchanged e-mails. Yeah, right. So that’s what I have to say about that.

Let’s get back the actual party itself. I’m not sure if I mentioned it above (I ain’t gonna scroll all the way up to check) but I arrived late and missed the opening band Love Pollution. At least, I think that’s what their name was. I was kind of bummed but not really. Somebody said they sounded like the Beatles or something. If Love Pollution doesn’t sound like the "Fab Four" please forgive me for spreading lies. Ah, screw it – spread the lies if you want, I don’t care. Just kidding. On a totally different topic, I’m not listening to Le Tigre’s self-titled release now. It’s pretty damn good. I’m on the song "What’s Yr Take On Cassavetes," which isn’t my favorite, but It’ll have to do I suppose. OK, so I got to the party just in time to see the Insects go on. I was greeted by a drunk girl, who will remain unnamed -- MARI. She was happy to see me, but then again, I think she gets really happy when she sees anyone. That’s what is so great about Mari. But I was really happy that I arrived just in time. As I looked around the room, I saw Terrance wearing his furry beige Kangol Fred Durst-looking fisherman’s hat. He had this history-in-the-making grin on his face while he held a borrowed camcorder. Before the party, he vowed to get the whole thing on tape for the Central Valley rock ‘n’ roll archives. Good job, my friend.

It’s always interesting watching the Insects play. Between Christy’s giggles and hardcore concentration on playing the futuristic-sounding keys, Mark’s dirty looks to band mates who fuck up during a song, Travis’ amazingly minimalist beats, and Bean’s tobacco-chewing bass licks, the band is simply put, tight. I remember writing an article for Fresno State’s newspaper The Collegian about the Insects. Mark mentioned these crazy influences of his, Captain Beefheart being one of them. Granted, I’ve never listened to Beefheart’s music, I deeply thank him for contributing to Mark’s song-writing. You can’t quite pinpoint the music of the Insects. Each song is very different. I may be a "music writer," but I must admit that I’m actually horrible at describing music. A lot of music journalists use all of these bullshit adjectives to describe bands but I really hate to do that. That’s the challenge about writing about music. It ain’t no sailboat ride, I’ll tell you that much. I guess you could call it alternative rock, or indie rock, but I just call it crazy. Maybe you could call it weirdo pop rock. Although, Travis’ song – which, to my dismay I have forgotten the name of (shame on me) – does have a very indie sound to it. But what do you expect, the guy love’s Pavement and has a Pedro the Lion poster on his wall. I think he really likes Modest Mouse, too. Oh well.

All of the songs are sung by Mark – with the exception to a few that are sung by Guido. I believe one of Guido’s songs has the lyric, "I wanna get some Mantis ass" or something like that. Basically playing up the whole ‘Insect’ theme. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that each of the band members has an Insect alias. But the whole ‘getting laid by a praying mantis’ thing is just one of the darkly humorous aspects of the band. Not only do they sing about taboo Insect sex, but they also tend to make random rainforest animal noises, dance around the idea of killing Ronald McDonald, and have a song called "Big Fat Bean." Need I say more? But trust me, their music is good. And this is coming from a guy who likes the best music that is out there. That ain’t no lie. Ha. Actually, the Insects are one of those bands that you either love or you hate. The first time I heard their CD, I loved them.

But before I talk about that, let me just tell you that I’m now listening to the new Bright Eyes (iPods can be great when they don’t break on you). It’s not bad, actually. Anyway, I’ll briefly explain my first interaction with the first self-made Insects CD, which I still have to this day. It was about a year and a half ago and my friend Christy (who was dating Travis at the time) kept raving about this band her boyfriend was in. Now Christy has some excellent taste in music, but I was a bit skeptical. I wasn’t sure whether the music was actually good or if she just liked the music because her boyfriend was playing drums. I was a DJ at Fresno State’s radio station at the time, so after I listened to the CD I immediately had to start playing it on my show. I got good feedback from my listener’s. And you know why I got good feedback? Because it was good.

(Let me take a few steps back to one of the first times I met Travis. This doesn’t really have anything to do with anything but I’ll share it anyway. My friend Ben (formerly of The Soma Holidays) was playing in this basement at somebody’s house. So I went there and saw Travis with the girl Lisa, who later turned out to be Mark’s (from the Insects) sister. I think I had met Travis once before that and he told me he played bass. Who the fuck knows? Anyway, that’s kind of how I met Travis. Great story, right?)

Pt. III

March 1, 2005 – A week before I started writing this thing.

It’s starting to feel like a journal entry for God’s sake. But it’s not a journal entry; It’s a recollection of sorts. Actually, I’ve decided that it’s more a stream of conscious kind of thing. That’s the best kind of writing my friends. Honest, unedited, writing – you can’t really beat that. I dare you to try. But I could be lying and you’d never know. So I guess I left off talking about the first time I met Travis. Now that we’ve got that story out of the way, let’s jump forward a little. The other night I was talking to the stylish Terrance (who, in the past, said that I have no style and curses my Kill Rock Stars hoodie for being "record label propaganda). He actually told me the other day that people is his hometown of North Fork tell him he looks like a drug dealer. Maybe it’s the cow-skinned cowboy boots, man??? Just a thought.

(I didn't finish these memoirs because I got lazy. Enough said.)